The "Distance of Love": How to Make Grandparents Feel Like Part of Your Kids' Lives, Not Just Visitors
I’m sure you’ve experienced it. Your child jumps on a video call with their grandparents in Greece, and after the first few sweet, yet often awkward, “How are you? I’m fine,” an uncomfortable silence takes over. Or, perhaps you return from Greece after a wonderful summer, and your little one asks with tears in their eyes: “Why do the grandparents live so far away?”
This pain of distance is arguably the biggest challenge for Greek expat parents. We want our children to be connected to their roots, the Greek language, and their family's stories. But how do you build a deep bond when the relationship is limited to a couple of trips a year and some scheduled video calls?
Grandparents shouldn't just be "visitors" in our children's lives. They are our living history, the emotional anchors the children need in their bilingual world.
The good news? There are ways.
In this Survival Guide, I’ll share practical strategies and ideas tested by expat parents worldwide to help you:
Transform awkward video calls into interactive playtime.
Create physical "bridges of connection" (even without a screen).
Manage long family visits with love and clear boundaries (no drama!).
Get ready to make the grandparents Part of your Children's Daily Lives, regardless of the time zone! Let's go!
Part A: No More "What Are You Doing?" – How to Make Video Calls INTERACTIVE
Video calling is the main tool, but the lack of shared activity often leads to boredom. Our goal: To give the grandparents an active role.
1. Give Them a Role: The Day's "Lesson"
Instead of simple conversation, set a purpose for the call:
Pappou the Storyteller: Ask Grandpa to read the same Greek story for bedtime each time. This routine reinforces the bond and the language.
Yiayia the Chef: Grandma shows step-by-step how she makes spanakopita or a Greek coffee. The child watches or, if older, tries to make something similar at home.
Virtual Tour: Dedicate one day for the child to give the grandparents a tour of their room, or vice versa—the grandparents show their neighborhood in Greece.
2. Screen Games & Consistency
Virtual Scavenger Hunt: Grandpa asks the child to find an object in the house (e.g., "find something blue") and the child brings it back to the camera.
Consistency over Duration: Prefer 10–15 minutes every day (or every other day) over one hour once a week. Frequency builds habit and intimacy.
Part B: The Love Box – The Offline Connection
Technology helps, but the bond must also exist in the daily routine.
3. The Parent's "Bridge": Constant Reference
You, the parents, are the link. Make the grandparents part of the conversation even when they aren't there:
Example: "Remember that song Yiayia always hummed when we baked koulourakia?" or "We need to ask Pappou that story; he lived it."
4. Physical Connection: The Memory Box
Create a special box or shelf dedicated to the grandparents. Put inside:
Greek Books the grandparents sent.
Scents: A soap with Greek herbs or a small bottle of oregano from their garden. Smells are powerful emotional connecting links.
Mail It: Encourage the children to send handwritten cards or drawings. Physical correspondence has immense sentimental value.
Part C: Survival Guide for Visits (No Drama!)
Gatherings, while joyful, bring challenges (e.g., rule breaking, separation drama).
5. Setting Boundaries with Love (Before Arrival)
Communication is key. Don't wait for the grandparents to arrive to discuss sensitive issues. Discuss Bedtimes and Diet calmly and kindly before they arrive, emphasizing that it's “for the child’s well-being.”
Topics & How to Frame It Gently:
Bedtime "Mom/Dad, bedtime is crucial for [Child's Name]. We need them to be asleep by 9 PM, even if they want to stay up with you.”
Gifts "Thank you for your love, but our house is small! This year, instead of toys, we'd prefer you gift them a shared experience with them."
6. The Bittersweet Goodbye: Managing Separation
The moment of saying goodbye is hard for everyone. Help the children (and the grandparents) manage it:
Prepare the Next Step: Give them a specific date for the next video call or visit. "We will talk Wednesday evening so you can show Grandpa your new toys!"
"The Grandparent's Gift": The grandparents can leave a small, symbolic gift (e.g., a lucky charm) that the child can open the next day. This links their absence to a positive anticipation.
Conclusion
The distance can only be geographical, not emotional. It requires effort, organization, and, above all, intention. When you make the grandparents active partners and not just spectators, their relationship with your children blossoms, keeping their Greek soul alive.
Now it's your turn: What is the most successful video call idea you've tried with the grandparents? Tell us in the comments!